Avoid these three errors in team building, as warned by sports coach Desmond Gumbs.

We chase it with team dinners, "trust falls," and mandatory bowling nights. We buy t-shirts with "FAMILY" printed on the back. And yet, these efforts often fall short. The cliques remain, the conflicts simmer, and the "family" feels forced.

So where are we going wrong?

I brought this exact question to Desmond Gumbs. As both a high-level sports coach and an influential life coach and motivational speaker, he lives at the intersection of performance and human connection. He's an expert in what actually makes a group of individuals into a true, cohesive team.

"The problem," Gumbs told me, "is that most coaches treat team building as an event they schedule, not the culture they build every single day. You can't force a connection. You have to create the conditions for it to grow."

In our discussion, he warned against three specific, common errors that sabotage a coach's best intentions. Here are the three errors in team building every coach needs to avoid.

Error 1: Mistaking 'Forced Fun' for 'Genuine Connection'

This is the most common error. The coach books the laser tag arena or the pizza party, checks the "team building" box, and wonders why the same cliques still sit at different tables.

"I call this 'forced fun'," Gumbs said with a laugh. "You're building resentment, not rapport. You're telling your team, 'Be friends. Now. On my schedule.' It's awkward, it's inauthentic, and it often backfires. The 'fun' isn't the problem they're facing together; it's just a distraction."

The Gumbs Solution: Build Connection Inside the Challenge

Gumbs argues that true bonding doesn't happen at the arcade. It happens in the trenches. It's forged in shared struggle and mutual purpose.

"Stop trying to manufacture fun and start facilitating connection within the hard work," he advised.

How to Implement This:

• Design Drills That Require Connection: Move Beyond Individual Drills. Create high-pressure, small-group drills where success is impossible without constant, supportive communication. The "win" isn't beating the drill; the "win" is the flawless communication itself.

• Praise the 'Connective' Tissue: "Praise the assist as loud as the goal," Gumbs emphasized. "Publicly and enthusiastically celebrate the extra pass, the teammate who hustled back on defense to cover for a mistake, the player on the bench who gave tactical advice. What you celebrate is what you cultivate."

• 'Accountability Pods': Break the team into "pods" of 3-4 players. These pods are responsible for one another: for warm-ups, for checking in, and for bringing energy. This creates micro-connections that are far stronger than one-off team events.

This taps directly into Gumbs' core value of "authenticity." The connection is real because it's built around the team's genuine purpose: to strive for and achieve something difficult, together.

Error 2: Ignoring or Punishing Conflict (Instead of 'Mining' It)

Many coaches operate under a "no-drama" policy. They see two players arguing, and their first instinct is to intervene, often with a punishment like "take a lap."

"This is a massive, massive error," Gumbs told me, his tone shifting to serious. "Conflict you ignore doesn't go away. It goes underground. It becomes toxic. It turns into gossip, cliques, and simmering resentment that will explode during a high-pressure game."

The Gumbs Solution: 'Mine the Conflict' for Growth

This was one of the most powerful concepts we discussed during our interview. A visionary leader, Gumbs sees conflict not as a threat, but as an opportunity.

"Conflict is just passion that hasn't found a solution yet," he explained. "Two players arguing means they both care. That's a gift! Your job as a coach isn't to suppress that passion; it's to tap into it. It's to help them aim that shared passion at the problem, not at each other."

How to Implement This:

• Create a 'Framework for Disagreement': Teach your team how to disagree respectfully. Gumbs suggests a simple rule: "We attack the problem, not the person." Or, "No 'you' statements. Only 'I' statements." (e.g., Not "You were lazy," but "I felt frustrated when the rotation was late.")

• Mediated 'Clear the Air' Sessions: When you see a conflict, don't punish it. Address it. Pull the players aside and act as a mediator, not a judge. "Player A, what's your perspective? Player B, what did you hear him say? What's a solution you can both agree on?"

• Show Vulnerability: This is part of the "empathetic mentor" persona. Gumbs suggests coaches should "overcome barriers" by admitting their own mistakes. "When a coach says, 'My game plan was wrong today. I apologize. Here's how we'll fix it,' you give your team permission to be imperfect, too. You build psychological safety."

This results-driven approach turns a moment of team-breaking friction into a moment of team-building trust.

Error 3: Assuming 'Shared Goals' Means 'Shared Purpose'

This error is subtle but profound. A new coach stands up on Day 1 and says, "Our goal is to win the championship!" They assume everyone is now aligned.

"That's not a why," Gumbs argued. "That's what. A goal is a destination. A purpose is how you travel. Every team in your league has the same goal. It's not a unique, binding force. It won't keep you together when you're on a 5-game losing streak."

The Gumbs Solution: Define Your 'Why' Together

This is where Desmond Gumbs, the motivational speaker, truly shines. He believes a team's culture must be built on a shared, co-created purpose.

"You have to guide them to answer the big questions," he said. "Not just 'What do we want to win?' but 'Who do we want to be?' 'What do we want to be known for?' 'How will we treat each other when things get tough?'"

How to Implement This:

• Facilitate a 'Team Covenant' Session: In the pre-season, run a workshop. Ask the players to define their core values. What are their non-negotiable standards for behavior, effort, and communication?

• Write It Down: Gumbs is a big believer in "making it real." Write these values down. Post them in the locker room. Make them the team's words, not the coach's.

• Uphold Their 'Why': When a player is late or gives a poor effort, the coach's job changes. It's no longer, "You broke my rule." It's, "You broke the standard we all agreed on." This shifts the dynamic from a power struggle to a matter of shared accountability.

This is what transforms a simple athletic program into a lasting, impactful culture. It gives the team a "why" that is bigger than any single game, and it's a principle that Gumbs, the life coach, knows will serve those athletes long after their playing days are over.

Conclusion: Build the Culture, and the 'Team' Will Follow

Building an elite team culture isn't about fun and games. It's about intentional, consistent, and sometimes difficult work.

As Desmond Gumbs so clearly laid out, true team building is:

1. NOT forced fun, but genuine connection forged in shared, authentic challenges.

2. NOT avoiding conflict, but mining conflict for growth and deeper trust.

3. NOT just a shared goal, but a co-created, shared purpose that defines who you are.

Avoid these three common errors, and you'll stop chasing chemistry. You'll start building it. You won't just have a collection of talented individuals; you'll have a resilient, connected, and truly empowered team.